"We're all just fragile threads, but what a tapestry we make." – Jerry Ellis

Conquering the Treadmill

02 16 14

Until today, I had the winter running blues.  It’s been an exceptionally cold winter here in Missouri.  Not just a cold winter, but a frozen, slushy-junk-on-the-sidewalk kind of winter.  Since at times I find it difficult to navigate dry pavement, my sense of self-preservation dictates that I stay indoors and off the sidewalks when they’re icy.  That leaves me with the option of the treadmill (or dreadmill, as I’ve heard it called.)

When I first started running, I used the treadmill a lot.  I always was self-conscious out there on the roads of O’Fallon—like the people in the cars would know I was only pretending to be a runner—so I opted for the dingy basement.  My treadmill at home was old and had experienced a leaky battery so the controls that tell you how fast you’re going and how far you’ve run didn’t work.  I used the clock in my husband’s workshop to see how long I ran.  Since I was slow and all my friends who were “real” runners ran a lot faster than me, I was running solo anyway so it was the perfect way to get miles in.  Even if I didn’t know how many miles I ran.

I didn’t start running a lot outdoors a lot until last fall when I trained for my first half marathon with a training group at Big River Running, a local running store here.  Before that, most of my outdoor running was when I was coaching Girls on the Run at the elementary school playground.  Not exactly scenic.  But with the training team our long runs were in parks and through nearby subdivisions as well as the high school track.  This was when I began to enjoy running.  Even in 90+ degree weather I thought being outside was part of the experience that I enjoyed most.  I also loved the camaraderie of running with a group.  The miles fly by when you’re with other humans with a common goal.

I trained into the fall and did the half, followed by a couple 5Ks afterwards.  Then it was December and the swirl of Christmas activities pulled me away from running—exactly what I was afraid would happen.  It was dark early and cold, although not too bad, but I was busy and not training for a race.  So I didn’t run (and I need to add I got crabby).

In January, the training team started up for a spring half marathon.  Knowing that I need to have a goal to motivate me, I signed up again.  So far I’ve gotten to go to two trainings out of six—and one was cancelled due to ice.  All the other long runs I’ve done on the treadmill.  Alone. And I’ve started to wonder why I ever liked running so much.  Audio books aside, running on the treadmill takes away my favorite parts of running—the outdoors and the people—and reduces it to the part that’s just sweat and being out of breath.  When I’m running with the group my fear of getting left behind keeps me on pace.  I hate to admit it, but on the treadmill I am able to dial it down when I’m not just feeling it, so I end up dragging out the torture even longer.

So yesterday I went to the park, hoping to find it cleared off enough for the long run with my friend Amy…it was not.  And I dreaded the treadmill run slated for today on my training calendar.  But something happened today that shook my blues and made me happy.  I went against every instinct I had, and didn’t look at the mileage as I ran. I set it up on my pace and kept it there…never slowing down because I wanted to quit.  I gasped and was red-faced; it was not pretty.  But I felt the way I used to feel after I ran.  Tired, but accomplished.  Like I hadn’t “cheated” on my training plan.  It was a great feeling.

Tomorrow’s training run is four miles.  And it will probably be on the treadmill again.  Bring it on.

Category:

running

Leave a comment

Tagged with:

Thoughts on Being a Girl Scout Mom

02 02 14

I’m the Girl Scout Cookie Mom for daughter Emily’s Girl Scout Troop.  I was the co-leader for several years, but we merged with another troop, so I was able to step down from that role.  I am not sure how much I can say I was a “leader”.  My co-leader and one of my best friends, Kelly, was the true leader of the group…organized, always planning and ahead of schedule.  I was more like the warm body that was there to say there was enough adult supervision to comply with the ratio of adult to girl requirement.  In fact, one time I got my girls in trouble with the lifeguard at camp because I was telling them all about the Nestea Plunge and they were trying it out.  Turned out that they were only allowed to go into the pool feet-first, and this was a clearly a violation of that rule.  So much for me being a good role model.

For several years I was the main leader for Erin’s troop as well.  We were a very laid back group.  Yes, we earned badges, did plenty of community service and sold cookies and such, but my co-leader and I made the decision to make our troop meetings fun so that they didn’t feel like they were in a class at school.  Sometimes our meetings were chaotic, but I remember laughing a lot at those meetings.  Sometimes we’d finish early so we’d just play silly games like the one where you can only speak in questions.  This group of girls was hilarious and understood my sense of humor.  It was fun while it lasted, but by the time they were entering Middle School in sixth grade it was time to move on.  Our troop disbanded and Erin joined another troop, determined to stay in Scouts.  I help out now with that troop, too, but basically my role is that of an involved Mom, which I like.

So it’s Girl Scout Cookie time, a time full of selling cookies and holding cookie booths (ugh!), as well as the time when I wonder if my daughters will continue on next year in Scouts.  I always say our family would have so much more free time if they quit, but I think a part of me would really be sad.  I’ve made wonderful friends and memories through Girl Scouts, and so have my girls.  The women who organize the events in our Neighborhood are incredible—very organized, very purposeful and energetic.  I wish I could be a little more like they are.  They are a compassionate group, too.  Amongst them have been those who have lost their homes to fires, recovered from surgeries and served in Afghanistan leaving their family here in the states.  I’ve never seen them fail to selflessly reach out and make a difference for those who need a helping hand.  I’m blessed to have known them.

No matter if my girls stay in Scouts or not, it has definitely had an impact on their lives, and mine as well, that goes well beyond earning badges and doing community service.  We have seen first-hand how communities flourish when there is a group effort and how making a difference can begin with just an idea and a little elbow grease.  We’ve learned valuable skills, like first aid and the best way to build a campfire (I still opt for matches instead of the magnesium block!)  But most memorable of all to me is the friendships that form when one spends time trying new things together—even if it might get you in trouble with the lifeguard!

Category:

family, Girl Scouts

Leave a comment

Technical Competency Thoughts of a Newbie Blogger

01 28 14

I like to think that I’m technically proficient.  Sit me down in front of a computer program, and I can navigate my way through it eventually.  Then, when I want a program to do that really cool thing—you know, the one that automatically does ____, I will spend hours trying to figure out how to do it, normally through trial and error (lots of error).  In the process, I tend to learn more than I ever set out to about how to do other really cool things with a software program.

At my job as an Administrative Assistant, I use Excel spreadsheets a lot.  Over the past year alone, I have learned to manage and maneuver data more than I thought was possible.  Sometimes the reason I’ve discovered how to do something was out of sheer laziness.  For example, I didn’t feel like typing the same thing over and over again, so I learned how to write macros.  At other times, I learn something out of desperation. (Why is this spreadsheet merging all these cells on the bottom of the page I’m trying to print?)  Either way, I’ve come out smarter than I was before—although I like the luxury of learning because I want to, not because a report is due to the boss ASAP.

Setting up this blog has been kind of a mixture of both.  WordPress is not really difficult…I’ve just never done this before.  The closest thing I’ve done like it is setting up a little yolasite for my Girl Scout troop—an effort I abandoned after only about a year because I found out parents never checked it anyway.  And the good folks at WordPress have tons of helpful tutorials and such to help out a newbie like me. Problem is, I just don’t really know what it is I even want to ask at this point!  But I’m learning.  I’m learning because I accidentally deleted a change I made and I wanted to find it again.  I’m learning because my daughter, looking over my shoulder, pointed out that the picture I chose first was not very flattering—couldn’t delete that one fast enough! 

I feel very comfortable at this point experimenting, and it’s so much fun to do that anyway.  The demon every writer knows all too well is that inner critic.  She’s very cruel and stifling.  Writing to post to a blog is so different from anything I’ve done before.  I don’t really have to answer to anyone but my own momentary whim.  It is so freeing.

So I’m hoping the enthusiasm on my honeymoon with my blog continues. Of course, I’m hoping that six months from now I’m looking back on this time as a more experienced blogger.  But not as a tired,  I-gotta-post-something-this-week kind of gal. I want to be like the kindergartner who looks back on her pre-school days as “when I was a little kid”.  Happy blogging!

Category:

family, writing

Leave a comment

Life in My Head

01 24 14

I think I read too many books and watched way too much TV growing up.  I have a very romantic view of how the world should be, how every problem has a clear cut answer that is reachable in a half hour to two hour time period (depending on sitcom or movie).  Experts say that people in my generation do suffer from that.  We want forensics teams like the ones on CSI to tell us every detail, even the thought process of the murderer, and give us not only the undeniable proof of who is guilty, but why they committed the crime.  Personally, I also want every rift in a relationship to be settled, and by settled I mean all hurts forgotten, at the end of the day.  Ah, wouldn’t it be grand!

Alas, we live our lives in the real world, where there are no scripts and no safety nets.  Feelings get hurt. People have agendas. Procrastination rules.  Clothes need to be laundered.  (Have you ever noticed that in movies and TV no one ever has to do laundry except if it takes them down to the laundry room where BAD things usually happen?) In the real world, we have the everyday task of just living life.

I think that’s why I do live my life in my head at times.  Not always—there’s enough reality in my life to keep me grounded–but in my head, I’m not that middle age Mom walking into the grocery store.  I’m the glamorous, but cool-under-pressure undercover cop who knows the butcher has a secret I need to bust wide open.  And that guy at the gym?  Well, he didn’t always bench press like that—he started working out to get into shape after his girlfriend walked out on him for his ripped ex-best friend.

Yes, I realize that makes me sound a little crazy—or a lot like a Walter Mitty (the book, not the movie).  What’s funny is that, in real life, I hate dramatic scenes because I’m actually pretty boring—you might say a stability freak.  I’m glad I’m happily married and don’t have those roller coaster emotions of young love.  And don’t get me started on confrontations!  So for me, making up outrageous little backstories on the usual suspects is my way of spicing up life just a little.  It’s why I love “real” ghost stories, where some paranormal phenomenon occurring is explained by a story of what happened 100 years ago.  To this day she roams the hallway in her long, wedding dress, mourning the loss of her groom…

I suggest you try it sometime, if it isn’t something second nature to you already.  I’ll warn you though—it’s kind of addictive.  Endless possibilities—and you get to make the ending whatever you want.   I’ll bet it even wards off dementia in those later years.  So the next time you’re driving down the road and at the stop sign that hawk turns to look you straight in the eye—was it really a bird?  Or could it be the long departed soul of the warrior searching for his young, Indian princess bride?

Category:

family, writing

1 Comment

Welcome to The Lighthearted Dragonfly Blog

01 23 14

It’s 2014 and I’m finally blogging! After much internal dialogue (and debate), I’m putting “it” out there. You see, “it” was what all the debate was about. What do I have to add to the internet that’s not already been blogged, tweeted and posted by ten thousand other people already?  Maybe nothing new, wild and crazy, but perhaps that’s not the point.

I love a lot of stuff.  That is, I enjoy a lot of stuff.  Stuff like being a wife and Mom, my friends, running, writing, my dogs, trying new recipes, wine, exploring and deepening my faith, being in a Book Club, experiencing the curve ball in life of aging parents, hanging out at the Lake, finding ways to avoid housework, finding ways to get excited about housework.  You get the idea.  I especially love connecting with other people who enjoy a variety of things too.  I like hearing their thoughts on all these things and the feeling that there are other people out there that have a single, fragile thread of a commonality with me.  That someone might read something I’ve written and think, “I know exactly what she means!”

So why The Lighthearted Dragonfly? I have always loved dragonflies and how beautiful and delicate they are.  Especially the blue ones. They apparently like me, too–they seem to land on me often.  When trying to think of a blog name (not as easy as I thought it would be) I found a website that talked about dragonflies and their meaning.  It said they symbolized transformation, joy and lightness of being.  I latched onto that.  How inspiring to envision the slender, iridescent dragonfly, full of lightness and joy, perched on my shoulder as I blogged away.  At least that’s how I envisioned it.  I have found dragonflies spark my creative muse.  And they make me happy.

So thanks for taking the time to visit my blog today.  Hope you return often and chime in on a topic now and then.  Until next time…

Category:

book club, dog lovers, faith, family, Girl Scouts, nature, recipes, running, writing

2 Comments